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Practicing what you profess – in marriage

More than 70% our population profess to be Christians. It is unfortunate that what we profess at the church does not impact on how we related to each other in our homes. We live and run our marriages just like unbelievers do, in fact there are very few marriages that are conducted based on Christian principles.

  • We love our spouses in the same way that non-believers love their spouses, with the love that is conditional, seasonal and depends on feelings and circumstances.
  • When we are faced with problems in marriage, in spite of our profession, we address our problems the same way as non-believers do: we fight, abuse, humiliate and threaten each other.
  • We get married, stay married and end marriages for the same reasons as non-believers.

As a results it no surprise that Christians have the same rate of divorce as non-believers, this is a serious indictment on Christianity.

Even though it is important to know how to communicate in marriage, how to resolve conflict, how to improve intimacy, etc, it is even more important to practice what we profess. I believe that the key to successful marriage is found in us being true Christians, if we can live, talk, walk and act like Jesus, if we can practice the basic principles of Christianity, our marriages will be full of joy and happiness.

For example:

  • In John 15: 12 The Bible says This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you” And in Luke 6:27 again the Bible say “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,” Now, if I am a Christian, how can I be abusive to my spouse, can abuse be viewed as an expression of love? Even if he/she treats me so bad that he/she appears to be like an enemy, I am still suppose to love him/her and not only love but also do good to him/her.
  • In Exodus 20:14 the Bible says “You shall not commit” Many Christian families are hurting as a result of the sin of adultery, and many families have been buried in the marriage cemetery as a result of this sin. Please note that this has nothing to do with being faithful to your spouse it is all about being faithful to God. If only we practice what the Bible teaches many marriages will be spared the hurt and the pain.
  • In Ephesians 4:26 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath” The Bible is the best conflict resolution manual, if only we can just follow these principles our marital conflicts will not be as hurtful, destructive and painful as they sometimes are, and will not take as long as they do.
  • Etc


It is important to know that practising what you profess requires one to go against the flow, to swim upstream, to do the unpopular, and to go against prevailing culture even within the church. It is a fact that obeying God’s words sometimes does not seem to make sense, at times it makes you look like a fool, and indeed many people will think and believe that you are a fool or there is something wrong with you. How can you continue to forgive one who continues to hurt you (and doing so deliberately)? How can you continue to love one who does not seem to love you anymore? It is all about practising what we profess, “I can do all things (love, forgive, be kind etc) through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13


2010 has been an eventful year for many, we have come this far by God’s grace and mercy, but as we look back some of us can see many instances where we failed to practice what we profess especially in our homes, therefore my prayer is that God may grant us the grace, in this holiday season and in the new year, to live, act, talk, walk not according to the counsels of men, but according to the will and word of God.

Many, many blessing to you all!



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